…by how inane and insubstantial the discussion is regarding women and comics. It’s not all guys, some females continually make the discussion more juvenile, or become instant apologists, so as not to make waves. It’s frustrating.
I’ve been hearing the same nonsense since before I turned pro,…
Amanda is going to be doing a teeny Ninja gig tonight. For safety reasons (really) it’ll be for a very limited number of people, and will only be announced around 6:30pm.
When it ends, still clutching her ukulele, she will be led, suspecting nothing, to THE RETREAT HOTEL - 280 Sydney Road, Brunswick VIC 3056, Australia — and into the beer garden out the back.
Be there by 7:30, or even a little before to be on the safe side. Head for the beer garden.
Do not form lines.
Get a drink, or something non-alcoholic and try to blend in. You will be surrounded by other people who have read this and turned up. If there ever was a group of people you were made to blend in with, this is it. Stare at them. Now is your chance to find out what the other people on Tumblr look like, if you have ever wondered. Do they have what most people would commonly describe as “faces”? Are any of them giant fire-breathing lizards in tee-shirts?
If you’re there on your own and feeling awkward, look around until you see someone nice and then edge over and ask if they are there for Neil’s Please Kiss My Wife For Valentine’s Day project. If they are, you now have something to talk about. Practice pretending you have known each other all your lives. Perhaps you could practice your kissing on each other, if you have not done it for a while.
A little after 7:30, Amanda will turn up (you will recognise her. She looks like this:
She is the pretty one on the lower right. If in doubt check out the eyebrows. Also, she will probably be holding a battered trumpet case with a ukulele in.)
Just walk over to her and say something like “You have great eyebrows,” or ”Excuse me, are you Amanda Palmer?” and when she says yes, or thank you, tell her you’ve got something for her from Neil, and then kiss her. (Or you can reverse the order.)
Yes, probably she’ll figure out what’s going on very quickly (she is not stupid).
But I think she’ll love it. And I think it’s a kind of a one-off, unrepeatable Valentine’s Day present. (You know, she and I have NEVER been on the same continent on Valentine’s Day, except for our rather nervous second date, in Dublin, at the Dublin Film Festival, and I don’t think either of us noticed it was Valentine’s Day.)
If you ask her nicely, she might even play you something (she will have just come from a tiny Ninja gig after all. She will have a ukulele.)
I have no idea how many of you there are going to be. It could be half a dozen, it could be fifty or more. But however many of you there are… thank you!
(And remember. Not a word on Twitter, or at least, not a word with the word @amandapalmer in it.)
This isn’t really a signal boost because I don’t have anyone following me in Australia. But I think this is an amazing Valentines Day gift to give someone.